So like most of you wombats Somebodyisfromhere.com recently heard about some folks from Texas thinking about Secession. Forgetting the logic of feeling underrepresented by a country despite being the home state of literally the last President and also forgetting that they would have had the front runner this time around if their entry literally knew how to say words out loud, it did get Somebodyisfromhere.com thinking of secession.
When Somebodyisfromhere.com was in Florida, for example, he learned about the Conch Republic. Sure, now it’s a restaurant. However, it’s origins are a bit deeper (if still not fairly unserious). Wiki explains:
While the protest that sparked the creation of the Conch Republic (and others which have occurred since then) have been described by some as “tongue-in-cheek”, they were motivated by frustrations over genuine concerns. The original protest event was motivated by a U.S. Border Patrol roadblock and checkpoint which greatly inconvenienced residents and was detrimental to tourism in the area.
The Conch Republic however is not without positive vibes. In fact, while they might have lost respect for the country, they still have high hopes about the world.
The Conch Republic celebrates Independence Day every April 23 as part of a week-long festival of activities involving numerous businesses in Key West. The organization – a “Sovereign State of Mind,” seeking only to bring more “Humor, Warmth and Respect” to a world in sore need of all three…
Well, gosh, it’s hard to hate warmth and respect.
However, one can’t type the word “secession” in Google without learning about Vermont. Here’s what Wiki says about the Second Vermont Republic:
The Second Vermont Republic (SVR) is a secessionist group within the U.S. state of Vermont which seeks to return to the formerly independent status of the Vermont Republic (1777–91). It describes itself as “a nonviolent citizens’ network and think tank opposed to the tyranny of Corporate America and the U.S. government, and committed to the peaceful return of Vermont to its status as an independent republic…
It sounds cool. Though, Somebodyisfromhere.com is totally worried about somebody who describes themselves as “nonviolent” the second word in describing themselves. Like, Somebodyisfromhere.com tries to mention his awesome hair that quickly.Still, imagine picking up a girl at a bar using the word “nonviolent” as a second word. The lady person would totally be fairly sure they were talking to Jeffrey Dahmer.
The folks at Killington in Vermont had some more somewhat more real and angry reasons. They just wanted to join New Hampshire:
Supporters claim that the townspeople pay the state $10 million per year in property taxes and $10 million a year insales taxes (as well as income and other taxes), but receive only $1 million a year to help fund their school system. In the words of Town Selectman Butch Findeisen, “There is a point where sharing turns to looting.”
An economic study commissioned by the town determined Killington would save a minimum of $7 million per year, excluding individual state income tax savings. Copies of this study were distributed at the 2004 Town Meeting and are available from the town clerk’s office.
The local vote actually went well towards secession. If you think about it, you kinda wonder why it wouldn’t be more popular amongst border folk. In this case, Wiki explains:
The legal decision will be made by the states of Vermont and New Hampshire and the United States Congress. Article IV of the U.S. Constitution requires that when the boundaries of existing states are altered, the action needs the consent of the legislatures of all states involved, as well as of Congress. The New Hampshire state legislature passed a law in 2005 authorizing a commission which would negotiate with the State of Vermont, if Vermont ever chooses to establish a corresponding commission. The Vermont legislature is generally expected to reject the idea of ceding Killington to New Hampshire. Even if Vermont votes in favor of Killington’s secession, the New Hampshire bill does not obligate the Granite State to accept Killington: the bill merely authorizes the beginnings of negotiations. If no deal can be reached, Killington would remain part of Vermont.
Somebodyisfromhere.com may be in law school and like all those law words, but it’s like 2am.